I am a vagrant this summer. At any given moment you could peer into my car and find various living essentials strewn about its interior–bottles of water, duffel bags filled with clothing, a plastic bag filled with toiletries, a backpack stuffed with notebooks and textbooks, and various food wrappers and containers from meals consumed on the go. It’s sad and amusing, all at the same time.
Amusing, I guess, because things this summer did not turn out at all as I had planned. And sad for that very same reason. My summer was supposed to go a bit something like this: get a wonderful job working at a non-profit in the cities, live in a house in the cities with my best friend where people would come to socialize often, visit other friend in cities who just had a baby who I am the godmother of, and occasionally travel home on weekends to visit family. What ended up happening was this: move into house with best friend. Move out of house because of unfortunate unexpected events in neighborhood. Move back home but try to maintain living together with best friend, so spend numerous nights at her house. Best friend goes on vacation. I go back to my house. Best friend returns from vacation. We move into a new apartment.
But, I have not yet added in the job thread, which further complicates things. Non-profit job in cities is wonderful when they actually have me work, which unfortunately is not very often. Need to look for another job. We’re in the middle of a recession, and I’m part-time, seasonal, and it’s the middle of the summer, a terrible combination. There are no jobs for me. Mom tells me she’ll pay me to nanny for my little brother. Awesome. He’s one of my favorite things about life, and I have no money. I’m in. But, brother lives away from the cities, and best friend lives in the cities, so I will split my time between two places. Monday-Wednesday nannying my brother, and Wednesday-whenever with best friend. Oh, and my parents are divorced, so I’ll want to spend some time with my Dad at his house as well.
All of this still has not included the two random trips I took to my grandmothers’ homes. I spent one week with my Nana in the cities due to unfortunate unexpected neighborhood event that caused best friend and I to leave our house. And I spent half a week up north at my grandmother’s house because I sorely missed her and my godfather and wanted to get away from summer stresses.
Wait. Did I just say “summer stresses,” and aren’t those two words that shouldn’t be used together? Yes and yes. But, that’s just how life goes sometimes. I’ve learned this summer to let myself really feel however it is I’m feeling-to be bummed that things barely followed any semblance of my plan, but also to find the humor and amusement in how life will take you to new and unexpected places and people and experiences without a plan. And I guess that’s kind of amazing. So, this summer I’ve been sad, amused, amazed, and, let’s add one more to the list-happy. Yes, there’s happiness in this summer. Some days I have to look for it harder than others, but it’s there. It’s in the smile on my little brother’s face, the quality time I’ve been able to spend with both of my grandmothers, the new things I’ve learned during the times I have gotten to work at my job, being able to go on adventures in the city with my best friend, and heck, even just being able to share a room with my best friend.
So, if at any given moment you were to hop in my car and ride along with me to one of my homes/temporary stops/vacation places, you would find my plans, diagrammed and inked on drafting paper, fluttering out of the window, one by one. In their wake, happiness is being created. Pure, unplanned, and spontaneous happiness. Never knowing what one day to the next will bring, I’ve learned to take this happiness as it arises. It is, after all, one of the serendipitous perks of being a vagrant.
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